Dr. Jess and special guest Psychotherapist, Adult Performer & Master Fetish Trainer Jasmine Johnson, reveal the truth about kinky sex and BDSM in Episode 5.
“One of the ways I like to explain it is that kink is a large umbrella and BDSM is one of the things that falls under that umbrella,” explains Jasmine.
B: Bondage, D: Domination, S: Submission/Sadism, M: Masochism
“If you think about, fantasize, engage or enjoy sex that is not with the intent of procreation, you can enjoy the kinky club,” says Jasmine. “It’s incredibly important to me. One of the things that happened in my personal life was turning 30 and that I needed to contend with a lot of the messaging around healthy sexual attitudes and behaviours. A lot of my views around sex and sexuality came from magazine articles that had a very narrow lane of what sexual expression could be for me as a woman, a mom and career focused person. So I set out and explored to learn my preferences and what I enjoy,” Jasmine says.
“My new girlfriend says she wants to be kinkierand she wants me to get into BDSM. I’m more vanilla, so I like to understand why people are even into this stuff in the first place? What’s the psychology behind it? ~ David
“A lot of people will participate in BDSM or kink play because it gives them more advanced role play,” says Jasmine. “New forms of role play or adult play is one of the things that I really enjoy about the play aspect of BDSM and kink. It unlocks a lot of new opportunities for us to communicate, assess our likes and dislikes, exploring boundaries — so the psychology around it is really exploring your unique sexual expression with a trusted partner or partners.”
“Can you please help me understand the equipment? She has a drawer full — blindfold, leather cuffs, feathers, a leather paddle and a whip that looks like a bunch of tails? It’s a bit intimidating!” ~ David
Jasmine recommends trying these toys on yourself first so you can make that connection of how it feels.
“Then ask your partner if they’d be interested in trying this tool. Give me some direction of how and where you’d like it. It takes away the pressure of becoming an instant dominatrix! Incorporate your partner into that exploration.”
“My boyfriend keeps asking me to try kinky sex (e.g. he wants to tie me up and is asking about spanking), but I’m not into rough sex. Can we really be compatible if we’re into such different things?” ~ Mary
“It’s so important to understand that being kinky doesn’t mean it has to be rough,” says Jasmine, adding that there are so many other things that can be incorporated within your parameters by having open communication. Jasmine recommends watching some kinky sex and then having sex that way that you find to be compatible with your partner.
Fifty Shades of Grey Bound To You Ankle Cuffs
Fifty Shades of Grey Bound To You Riding Crop
Fifty Shades of Grey Bound To You Flogger
Lelo Enigma Dual-Action Sonic Massager
Lelo Ora 3 Oral Pleasure Simulator
To watch Episode 5 or all the Intimately You episodes, visit TSC.ca/IntimatelyYou
Ask Dr. Jess! Wondering what product to buy? How to use it? Looking for relationship advice in the bedroom? Whatever your question, Dr. Jess is sure to have an answer! She excited to answer your questions, so don’t be shy! You can submit your question discreetly on TSC.ca/IntimatelyYou or by leaving a comment on the blog!